Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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