worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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