Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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