sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
