"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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