"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
