walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
