i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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