I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
