I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
