so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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