Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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