i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
