I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.