I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
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I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
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New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box