im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.