Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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