Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
