I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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