I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
