just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize