pedialite and red bull = repair kit
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
