Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
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I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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