we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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