If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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