you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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