After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
