I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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