This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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