The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
