I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
