Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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