I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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