please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize