How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
