Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
