We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
