Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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