they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize