There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
