Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
