Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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