just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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