I feel like abortions should bother me more
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
