it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
