You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just want nice things and good sex
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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