Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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