yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
