He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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