Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
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IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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