You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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