Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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