meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize