He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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