is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
