Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
