If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
