he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
