I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
